Who Would Think?

That what you did could have such a huge impact on me?

I sat next to you on just a few occassions at your sister's soccer games. Joked with you a bit about having to entertain your younger brother, and heard about you from my own daughter a few times. I just can't really say that I knew you. And maybe that's better for me.

What I do know is that your family was, and is, a wonderful, fun, loving and kind family. Your sister is Kaylen's best friend and has been for nearly two years. After spending a few hours a week sitting next to your mom or dad on the soccer field during their games, I got a pretty good feel about them. They are totally commited to their children, and were to you, H.V. You were their pride and joy, just as A.V. and E.V. are too. You could tell from the way they talked, bragged and recounted the weekly activities they would do with each of their kids. It was totally apparent to anyone who spoke with them, just how important you each are.

I'm sure you could see that....and I heard that you were pretty close to your Siblings. And I saw you get up out of your comfortable chair to walk E.V. to get a snack or to throw a ball with him. I just would like to know if you could really recognize this during your ordeal? Did you have any clue that you would destroy major pieces of each of your family members and many of your friends, not to mention the outsiders such as myself/your teachers/your neighbors/etc.?

I'm not the only one asking "why"? I know your parents were preparing to move the family out of state and that would be a huge troubling thing for anyone to consider, not to mention a teenage boy, with a girlfriend, lots of friends and a great soccer career, but was it that bad? Was there something else? I've always been the kind of person who wants to know the answers, wants to know how people feel and wants to understand the "why" of it all. This tragedy has elevated that need. I, as do many, feel the need to find the answers so that we can share them and try to prevent these types of situations from occuring. If only.

By almost all accounts, you had the perfect 14 year old boy's life. Beautiful girlfriend, lots of friends, great athlete, pool in the backyard, a family that loves you to pieces. What else did you require? What was missing? Why couldn't you talk to your family about everything that was leading you to even consider ending your life?

I live in a little bubble, or so I've been told. I tend to be an optimist and I don't see the cup as half empty. I think we should all focus on the positives of our life, as it is as short as the blink of an eye. And you tend to notice this as you get older. I know I am not like most people in this regard. I wonder would it be helpful for me to attempt to share my hope, my joy, my positiveness, and be an ear or a shoulder for those in need?

A friend of mine and my SIL have talked about a support group, a hotline, something! Because this is becoming so prevalent. I think kids these days have so focused on themselves and their problems that they cannot see the future, or at least hope for a future, in the midst and they think it would be easier to just remove themselves, no consequences. The problem is, there are dreadful consequences. How do you make them see this? How?

Lord, I pray that you will be with the brokenhearted V. family during this past week of terrible tragedy and numbness, I pray that you will comfort them in the coming weeks, months and years as they deal with H.V.s decision and absence from their lives. I pray they beat down the guilt that will surely come from this tradegy and I especially pray for all the other young boys and girls who feel so overwhelmed that they think this is the best decision for themselves. Please comfort the many that grieve over this death and others and give us direction in what we should do with these situations. Amen.